I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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