and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
