Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
