Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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