hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
