3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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