did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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