This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
