a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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