I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
