that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
