I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
