Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
