just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
