Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
