it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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