so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ttyl tear gas
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
