I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
