i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
