The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
