shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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