I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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