he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We got so high we made milksteak
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
