So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
