nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
