Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
