I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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