I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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