she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
