that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
