So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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