Yo dont text me then not text me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
