The maid of honor just puked.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
