and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
