nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
