Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
