sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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