btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
