That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
