this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
