you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
