we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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