my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
