I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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