so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
