Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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