Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
