So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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