Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
