I don't think brook has ever known best
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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