he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
